I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
