You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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