Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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