Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
