bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
