Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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