I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
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