her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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