I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
