Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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