Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize