I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
