Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
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