How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Randomize
