he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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