the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
3 2 1 whiskey
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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