Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
