I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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