hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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