Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
