i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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