Heybabeimwearingurpanties
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Randomize
