idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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