Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
