He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
