You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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