yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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