Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize