he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
