Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
