I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
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