spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
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