Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Randomize
