i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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