Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
