I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
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