I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
