does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Randomize
