i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
