we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
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why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
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I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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