is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Randomize