I cannot find my penis.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Randomize