My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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