i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
