whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
