So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
