No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
I don't deserve a penis
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Randomize
