Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
