And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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