Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
