omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
