well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
