I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
