This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she woke up with a sticky ear
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
