He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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