Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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