Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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