Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
