matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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