It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
