operation have a gay friend backfired
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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