so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
