let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
