The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
Me, myself and I
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
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Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
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Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.