Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water