Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
