Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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