Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Me too!
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
